I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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