Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Acid is not a monday night drug
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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