Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
