so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
