Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
FUCK WHALES
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
