There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
