I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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