So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
