She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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