I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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