i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
