Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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