he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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