Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
