The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
