Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
