I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
True college students do jello shots in the library
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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