you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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