I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
