my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
