Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
