Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
