is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
