She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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