bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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