oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
