so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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