is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just invented taco cereal.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
