that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
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