i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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