I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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