i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
