This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
