dude i'm inner monologue high
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead