I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.