You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
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He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
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DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?