Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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