i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
