Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Boobs speak an international language.
He better not be in your backpack
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i've created a new STD.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
