You're completely useless in the revolution.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
