also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
