I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
