Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Less talking, more tequila
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Randomize
