I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
