Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
