I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
