I'm really into asian looking animals
I wish I only lived at night.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Randomize
