I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Drunk is not a location!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
