I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
