im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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