Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
