I need help removing her.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
