I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Randomize
