between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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