I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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