one might say we're banned from that church
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
