yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
