wanna go halves on a baby?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
