You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
